Decisions, Decisions, and oh so many Opinions

Every day we make hundreds of decisions. Some are small choices we don’t even realize we are making. Some are more substantial, like what we will eat or wear. It’s amazing to think about how even the small choices we make can affect the direction of our lives. Then there are the major life decisions such as which college to attend, who we will marry, our career path, and relocating, just to name a few. While we should be open to the advice of family members and friends, ultimately the direction God tells us to go should always be the determining factor.

When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, I had to decide whether to proceed with chemotherapy. I prayed and diligently sought God for wisdom and clear direction. The thought of putting poison into my body was frightening, but so was the thought of the cancer returning. God directed me to proceed with the treatment, and I trusted that He would protect my body from the common, major side effects. There were many people, most of whom I did not know very well, who were adamant about giving me their advice and opinions on the matter. Many were convinced that I shouldn’t take this treatment even though most had no experience with having a cancer diagnosis. While I appreciated the fact that people cared about me, it was also a huge distraction as I was focusing on God’s voice to help me navigate through an extremely challenging season.

Another major decision I had to make was when I married Craig. Only a few months after my husband Joe had passed away, Craig and I tied the knot. Naturally, many of our close friends and family were concerned. This was an expected response given the quick timing. It’s important that we listen and consider advice from others, but we need to be sure that our decisions are made based on God’s leading and not from persuasion. This world has many voices and opinions, but there is only ONE voice which is Truth—that’s the voice of God.

When we live our lives in submission to the leadership of Christ, we should never get tripped up by the opinions of others. Our decisions are just that…our decisions. Others may not understand the situation fully, especially if they have never experienced it themselves.

It’s also crucial to set boundaries and not worry about what people think of us. Getting angry and becoming defensive is never helpful nor is it God’s will for us. It could also be that the enemy is trying to derail us. When we put our trust in God, He will build a fortress around us to protect us from the enemy's attacks.

We also must not forget to practice what we preach. Do you know a friend or family member who has made a major decision that you do not agree with? Do you feel led to offer your advice to them? Let’s think about the approach we use in doing so. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. Ask the person if it’s ok to share your

thoughts with them on the matter.

2. Respect their boundaries.

3. Don’t harass them repeatedly with your

unwanted opinions.

4. Be careful with your words.

5. Do not try to get other people “on your side”

(gossip with a “ganging up” approach).

6. DO NOT share on social media just to win more “votes”!

7. Pray and ask God to speak to the person directly.

8. Do not become angry/argumentative/resentful.

9. Regardless of their decision, love and support them.

As I reflect on my own life, I know there were times when I was easily persuaded by people’s opinions and missed what God had for me. Thankfully, God can still work through those situations, however, there are still consequences for disobedience. I also know there were times when I tried to force my own opinion on others. Most of you reading this have been on both sides of the coin as well.

I’m not saying that we should NEVER listen to the advice of others. Sometimes God will use others to help steer us in the right direction. But ask yourself … what is their motive? Are they offering advice because they love and care for you? Or are they just trying to control you? Even when their approach is wrong, can we refrain from retaliation? Can we find it in our hearts to instead pray for them and offer them grace? Well, that, my friends, is completely YOUR decision.

Ms. Lady Lake